Each of us has our own journey. For a few, pain is an accompanying walker on the journey of spiritual awakening, but for some, it wont be. In my experience, I have traversed different forms of pain, both physical and emotional.
At the beginning of my awakening, I was unaware of what was happening. I had a huge resistance, a strong refusal to succumb to the process (I realize that now, although I wasn’t aware of it then). At a surface level, I had a million questions, constantly seeking answers. But at a deeper, unconscious level, I resisted the awakening that I so longed for. I wanted to have a spiritual awakening guide. It would have been so handy.
It is ironic how the ego, body, mind, and self all become entangled in this process. They all want to hold onto something familiar, onto the “old me,” because change is scary.
Sometimes I think to myself, “How can I possibly condense all this into a brief conversation? It seems as though a book might be written about it. And yet, I realize that more illumined beings would likely chuckle gently and describe it all in a few easy words and in an attitude of peace. I am not there yet. But I am learning to let go, to comprehend the “I am,” and to release what no longer supports me. It feels like I’m just beginning to allow my truth to shine through.
Pain has been a part of this for me, but not as I expected. I’ve been told that many people experience flashes of pain during a Kundalini experience or spiritual self-awareness journey. For some, physically; for others, emotionally; and still others, perhaps subtly. It is, quite simply, person by person.
My latest experience was a sudden stinging in my right knee. It completely caught me off guard. I was lying down, typing an article, and figured it was time for a break. When I was standing up, a zap of pain went through my right knee. My initial response was shock—this cannot be happening, I kept thinking. Why now? But I also knew deep down that this was not a physical pain. Something inside me had been struck.
I wondered at the time: Is this the ego hanging on? Is this a recollection, an earlier emotion, a half-formed thought that had brought on this sudden pain? I had no idea, but something told me that this pain wasn’t about my knee. Later, I learned that the knees are generally said to represent the intersection between the spiritual and physical worlds. This hit me with complete force. My knee pain was not only physical; it was a manifestation of my subconscious mind’s resistance to spiritual growth and the balancing of my inner energies, most particularly my masculine energy.
This was not the first time I have had pain in my right knee. There were years ago when I was doing dancing practices. Then again, prior to running a half-marathon, the same knee pained me. I did not know why it was always the right knee and never the left one. It was a peculiar coincidence, something I couldn’t recall.
But in the past few years, when I’ve been contemplating my spiritual path, I came to understand the deeper meaning. The masculine energy is typically associated with the right side of the body, and my right knee told me that this masculine energy within me was getting blocked. There was resistance—a war being waged within me between my feminine and masculine energies (a little more on masculine and feminine energies in this article). My knee pain was its physical manifestation.
As I came to appreciate this, I began practicing Saadhana, an everyday spiritual practice of surrender based on Maharishikaa’s simple directive: bend down and surrender to the divine within. It was at these moments of surrender that the pain would lift. What a strange phenomenon! Each time I surrendered, the pain would lift. It was as though my body was informing me that resistance, whether it is spiritual or physical, brings only suffering. But when I surrendered and allowed myself to go along with the process, the suffering vanished.
Looking back, I realize now that the pain in my knee was not just a long-term injury. It was a call from my body, from my spirit, to tell me that I needed to do some healing on bringing my masculine and feminine energies together. The stoppage I felt inside, the stoppage that occurred in my knee, was a culmination of my inner journey to achieve balance.
Therefore, do we suffer in a spiritual awakening? In my experience, yes, but the suffering is never arbitrary. It is not meant to hurt us but to guide us. Every ache, every pang, is a soft nudge from the universe, encouraging us to reach deeper within ourselves, to uncover what we’ve been keeping inside, and to let go at last.
I’ve still got a long way to go on my journey, but I am learning. I remind myself every day to release a little more, to trust the process, and to embrace both the pain and the peace that come from spiritual growth.
The hurt, as I now see it, is not the foe. It is a bridge—a bridge that connects the old and the new, the physical and the spiritual, the masculine and the feminine. And with every step on the bridge, I am closer to my authentic self.
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My content is provided for informational and inspirational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or health disorder. It is not professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. For individual problems or advice, contact a competent healthcare or educational professional. I encourage you to exercise discretion and responsibility when applying or interpreting any information provided.
