I used to believe that happiness came from having more. More experiences, more achievements, more things. I didn’t see it then, but I was carrying a weight far heavier than just the things I owned. It was the invisible baggage—expectations, beliefs, fears—that kept me searching, restless, and never quite at peace. Many of us live like this. Some accumulate possessions, filling every inch of space with clothes, gadgets, and sentimental objects we can’t let go of. Others collect ideas—beliefs about who we should be, what success looks like, what will make us lovable. And then there are those who chase newness, constantly looking for the next big thing, the next achievement, the next external validation. But no matter what we collect, the result is the same: a quiet, persistent feeling that something is still missing.
The Trap of External Validation
It’s easy to lose ourselves in the world’s expectations. We scroll through social media, measuring our worth by likes and comments. We buy things we don’t need because advertisements convince us they will make us happier. We mimic those who seem successful, thinking we’ll feel fulfilled if we do what they do. But what happens when we build our lives around external validation? Anxiety rises. Relationships become strained. Our health suffers—some gain weight, some develop chronic stress, some fall into cycles of addiction, whether to food, alcohol, work, or attention.
For me, it showed up in an inner exhaustion. I thought I was doing everything “right,” but I felt more drained, disconnected, and oddly empty year after year. And my weight fluctuated like a yo-yo, rising and falling unpredictably. Attempting various diets offered no long-term relief. It wasn’t until I dared to slow down and look inward that I realized I had been running from myself. My actions were driven by fear, primarily based on external expectations, social conditioning, old traumas, and false beliefs. I lost touch with my true self and began questioning my beliefs, realizing many weren’t truly mine. All I know is that I want to free myself from these constraints, yearning for a deeper sense of freedom. I longed for freedom beyond the external—a return to my true essence.
The Fear of Looking Within
Why is it so hard to turn inward? Because deep down, we know we’ll have to face the parts of ourselves we’ve buried—the unprocessed emotions, the painful memories, the truths we’ve ignored. It’s easier to keep busy and distract ourselves with new goals, purchases, and entertainment. But avoidance only prolongs the suffering. The first step is making a decision. Do you want to keep running, or do you want to pause and figure out who you really are? It’s not an easy choice. Looking within means confronting old wounds, breaking societal expectations, and sometimes losing relationships with those who only knew the version of you that conformed. But on the other side of that discomfort is freedom.
The Power of Letting Go
Letting go is not just about decluttering your closet or going on a diet. It’s about clearing out what no longer serves you—mentally, emotionally, physically. Ayurveda, the ancient Indian healing system, teaches that once a person heals, their environment must also shift to support their new state of being. The same applies to life. If you start listening to your inner self but continue feeding old thought patterns and habits, you’ll feel stuck.
Change needs to happen at every level—what you consume, how you spend your time, and who you surround yourself with.
Start small. Spend a few minutes in silence each day, away from screens and distractions. Pay attention to your thoughts without judgment. Ask yourself: What do I actually enjoy? What beliefs have I inherited that don’t belong to me? Bit by bit, things will shift. Addictions—whether to coffee, sugar, approval, or busyness—will lose their grip. The need to prove yourself will fade. Your body, freed from stress and suppression, will naturally find balance. The weight, whether physical or emotional, will begin to lift.
Today, I own a capsule wardrobe. I spend far less, yet I have everything I need, and with that comes a deep sense of gratitude and peace. It is enough. I’ve become more selective in my choices, from the places I visit to what I own. What I once thought I needed no longer attracts me. I’ve detached from material things, and for the first time, I feel at ease. The less I seek external validation or try to be someone I’m not, the more I connect with my true self, which reduces my needs and improves my health and happiness. I have a small circle of people in my life, and I believe they are here to help each other in this journey. I am still learning to listen to my inner needs and body, initiating natural healing. Conditions that once seemed permanent, for which doctors said I would need lifelong medication, are now fading away. I speak less, eat mindfully (most of the time ), and choose foods that resonate with my current state. I recognize that old cravings and patterns are rooted in past trauma, and by consciously acknowledging them, they lose their hold on me. And just like that, the craving disappears. The deeper my alignment, the more effortless life becomes. Less noise, less excess—just pure inner joy.
The Journey Home
I won’t pretend it’s easy. People might not understand your changes. Some will criticize, some will laugh, and some will drift away. That’s okay. You are not here to live according to their expectations. You are here to reconnect with the part of you that has always been whole and enough. There is a different way to live—one where inner peace is not dependent on external circumstances. One where you can exist fully without the constant hunger for more.
If you are drawn to this path, know you are not alone. Books like The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer, Letting Go by David R. Hawkins, and The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle can offer guidance. But ultimately, the answers you seek are already within you.
The question is: Are you ready to listen?
