How do we choose love when fear feels all-consuming? When we feel lost, desperate, or unable to see a way forward?
Spiritual teachings often invite us to consider this question. For me, choosing love does not mean pretending that fear is absent. It means trying not to let fear decide everything, how I treat myself, how I respond to others, and what I believe is possible.
The practices below bring together self-inquiry, presence, breathing, prayer, and loving-kindness. They are ways to explore these teachings in daily life, without expecting ourselves to feel peaceful on command.
Recognizing Fear Through Self-Inquiry
Ramana Maharshi and J. Krishnamurti
Ramana Maharshi’s question, Who am I?, invites us to examine what we take ourselves to be. Krishnamurti’s emphasis on observation offers another way to approach the thoughts and feelings we usually accept without question. When fear arises, we can pause long enough to notice what we are afraid of. Sometimes there is a real situation requiring action. Sometimes our thoughts have carried us into an imagined future.
Practice:
- Ask yourself: What am I afraid of right now?
- Notice the thoughts that accompany the fear. What do you know, and what are you anticipating?
- If it feels manageable, allow yourself a moment to observe before responding.
We don’t have to dismiss fear to question what it is telling us.
Returning to the Present
“I Am” and Ram Dass’s Be Here Now
When we are frightened, the mind can move repeatedly between what happened and what might happen. Returning to the present gives us somewhere to begin. The words I am can serve as a simple reminder of being here, before adding a description, a worry, or a judgment. Ram Dass’s Be Here Now offers a related invitation to return our attention to the life happening in this moment.
Practice:
- Sit comfortably and let your breathing settle.
- Silently say, I am.
- Notice the support beneath your body and the sounds around you.
- When your attention wanders, return without scolding yourself.
You don’t need to produce a particular feeling. A few moments of attention are enough for the practice.
Bringing Attention to the Heart
Sufi Devotion and Paramahansa Yogananda
The heart has an important place in spiritual language about love and devotion. Sufi teachings and Yogananda’s writings offer different approaches to this relationship with the divine. The following is a simple breathing reflection, rather than a formal practice from either tradition.
Practice:
- Rest a hand over your chest, if that feels comfortable.
- Breathe gently, without forcing a deep breath.
- As you breathe in, imagine receiving love.
- As you breathe out, imagine loosening your hold on a fear or worry.
Stay for as long as it feels comfortable. Some days this may bring comfort; on others, it may simply give you a quiet moment.
Surrendering When You Cannot Control the Outcome
Jesus and the Bhagavad Gita
The prayer Thy will be done expresses a willingness to place trust in God when our own wishes cannot determine what happens. The Bhagavad Gita also invites reflection on devotion, surrender, and our attachment to outcomes. These teachings come from different traditions, but both offer something to consider when we have reached the limits of our control.
Practice:
- Pray in words that feel honest: I am afraid. Help me. Thy will be done.
- Acknowledge what you cannot control.
- Ask what remains yours to do today.
Surrender can include taking action, seeking help, or leaving a harmful situation. Trust does not require us to remain passive.
Offering Loving-Kindness
Buddhist Metta Practice and Rumi’s Poetry
Buddhist loving-kindness practice, often called metta, gives us a way to offer goodwill to ourselves and others. Rumi’s poetry offers another invitation to reflect on love and the ways we close ourselves to it. When we feel lost, beginning with someone we care about may make kindness easier to approach.
Practice:
- Think of someone whose presence feels safe and comforting.
- Offer a simple wish: May you be happy. May you be safe. May you be free from suffering.
- When you feel ready, include yourself: May I be happy. May I be safe. May I be free from suffering.
There is no need to force an emotion or direct love towards someone who has hurt you. Begin where you can.
Choosing Love While Fear Is Still Here
I find comfort in the belief that love remains available even when I cannot feel it clearly. That does not make fear easy, or mean I can always change how I feel. Sometimes choosing love means speaking gently when I want to react. Sometimes it means setting a boundary. At other times, it means allowing someone to help me.
These practices give me ways to return to that choice. I may still be afraid, but I can ask what love would require of me now—including love for myself.
These reflections draw on different spiritual traditions. The exercises are adaptations, not formal instructions from the teachers named. Spiritual practice can accompany, but does not replace, professional care when needed.
